So I’m starting to feel much more in control of myself and of my system these days. It feels like the internal whirling is lessening and that I can trust myself and my parts much more. This is a pretty nice feeling for me, because for the last 5 1/2 years it has felt like everything was out of control. But it doesn’t feel that way anymore. Which means that I get to actually relax and have some fun in life!
Yesterday we got together with my cousin and her dog, who’s roughly the same age as Maggie, and had a puppy play date! It was a lot of fun, and the dogs did great together! Afterward we went for about a 25 minute walk. I noticed that I am still getting winded upon exertion. I don’t notice it when I do yoga, but I do when I do cardio exercise. Because of that, I’m trying to keep my exercise per day right now to 25-30 minutes because I’m still obviously fighting things.
I am so happy though that we have found a playmate for Maggie. She did great with my cousin’s dog, who they just adopted. My cousin was really impressed with her. I can’t wait until we buy the house we are in and fence the yard so that the two can play in our yard. For now, though, we’re taking them to dog parks to play together.
I also am finding a lot of hope with the book “Becoming Yourself” by Alison Miller. It’s about how to recover from ritual abuse and mind control. It’s really informative. I read a chapter and a half yesterday. I’m finding it to be really helpful when it comes to understanding what happened to me and communicating with my parts.
Other things that are happening around here are that Patrick seems to be hungry all the time for some reason, and Perdi was in and out of the litterbox again last night. Both may have to go back to the vet soon. I emailed Patrick’s oncologist about his condition and will probably call the regular vet about Perdi.
We’re still waiting to hear back about the black and white tuxedo that we may adopt. We are waiting to hear back from FIV testing to make sure that she’s healthy enough to be around our cats. I also asked Patrick’s oncologist what he thinks about us adopting another cat through email.
And then the kind of interesting thing from yesterday. I did end up putting up a post on Facebook about my 15 years of sobriety. What was really interesting was that not one person from AA commented on it, and only two liked it! When I was in AA, a post about my “sobriety” would have generated hundreds of likes and hundreds of comments from AA members. But it appears that now that I’m no longer in AA, they apparently don’t consider my sobriety legit, or don’t have the time to comment or something. It just shows how cultic the group really is, because they can’t even take the time to like or comment on a post about 15 years of sobriety if the person is not part of their group/community! That is so sad for all of them, and sad for me too.
Anyways, thanks for reading! Feel free to comment below.