Well, I felt better for a couple of days, but yesterday morning my depression started creeping back in big time. Before it did, though, I did get 1/4 of my revisions done for the month and did some restorative yoga. But, then, I just crashed in terms of both my energy levels and my depression, and stayed there for the rest of the day.
I recognize that a lot of my depression is situational. I’m grieving so many things right now. Plus, I’m very lonely. I haven’t had anyone outside of a few family members visit me (my mom and dad, who are abusive towards me, and a cousin), despite all of my health issues, for years. It gets lonely having severe health issues, especially because I don’t feel well enough to go out and make new friends.
I don’t think that I feel like doing my revisions today. I just don’t. Hopefully I’ll feel better tomorrow.
I also ended up going to my primary doctor yesterday. She seems to think that I must be in an EBV flare or something. Also, my blood pressure is too low because of some adjustments of my psychiatric meds. So, I’m going to talk to my psychiatrist today about this. My primary thinks that I should go on fluoxetine for depression, but it causes weight gain so I’m not sure about that. She is also wondering if I have ADHD or if it is Lyme Disease that is causing ADHD type symptoms, simply because I didn’t respond well to a raise in stimulants when I should have. I did tell her that my niece has ADHD and also doesn’t do well with stimulants.
So I feel like everything is a mess right now with my medications and diagnoses. I just hope that the doctors can figure out something to help me, but right now my trust of them is pretty low.
I slept like 10 hours last night and still feel exhausted. I do have yoga in about an hour and hopefully I can get through it. But I’m so tired that I feel like much of my time today will be spent in bed.
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