My period finally came yesterday morning. I emailed my doctors and they gave me the go ahead to restart my medications that I had to go off of when I was pregnant. So, I took my antipsychotic early last night because I was feeling emotionally all over the place. Within an hour I was feeling better and more stable. I also started low-dose Naltrexone again last night, which helps me with chronic pain, inflammation, and helps to also stabilize my mood and PTSD, and started my Lyme meds this morning. Overall I’m feeling better now that I’m back on all of these meds.
I really was feeling quite depressed and down yesterday though without my medications. I’d been off some of them for almost two weeks at that point. I was so depressed that I had a mental health responder come and talk to me. Luckily he did not think that I had to be hospitalized. He suggested that I take the antipsychotic and other meds a few hours early (I usually take them at 9:30) and then just go to bed. So I did. And I’m feeling way better now.
It is disturbing to me how quickly I went downhill with my depression when I was off the antipsychotic. I know that I am dealing with a big loss as well and am hormonal, but still. This tells me that in terms of the pregnancy idea, it probably isn’t a good one. I don’t think that I could go nine months without medication for depression. I was told that there are other medications, like Zoloft, that I can take if I get pregnant again. But, I’ve tried most of those and they weren’t too effective for me.
So I’m going to talk to my doctors about how to prevent this in the future. I’m not going to take activated charcoal anymore, because I’m pretty sure that could have interfered with the pill. And, some doctors are saying that my other Lyme meds could also interfere with my other medications. So I need to get more information about what to do in terms of safe birth control options.
I am going to try to do some yoga today even though I’m still pretty tired. The counselor I talked to yesterday recommended that I do a floor based yin practice right now. So I probably will.
I do feel like this whole experience has changed my life quite a bit and my perspective. I can say that a chemical pregnancy, for me, was a life changing experience. I can see now that I need more balance in my life, and that I need to be gentler on myself when I don’t feel well. I’ve also become aware that there are toxic people in my life who I need to remove from my life. This has been made clear to me.
I still have a lot of healing and acceptance to work on regarding what just happened. I’ll get through it though, like I always do.
Thanks for reading! Feel free to comment below.