The last few months I’ve really been teaching myself how to truly relax for the first time. I think, though, that I’ve been learning how to do this for some time, ever since I started yoga about a year and a half ago. The last few months, though, I upped my practice at it and tried Sound Bath Therapy, which really has helped me to relax and destress. What I’ve noticed about it is that it helps me to relax my body and every part. It’s very effective for me. I listen to sound baths every night before bed and get the actual therapy about once a month.
I’ve found that massage, too, is very healing for me. It’s another thing that is teaching me how to relax.
It’s very interesting now though because I can purposefully relax different areas of my body when I need to. I’m getting more and more in touch with my body every day and dissociating less. I know that yoga, too, contributes a lot to this. It’s nice though to reduce my dissociation myself.
Just last night I started to notice that my derealization and depersonalization symptoms are really reducing. I was just sitting in the living room and everything started to look and feel real again. It hasn’t been this way for about five years now, and my biggest hope has been to get that feeling of myself and the world being real back again. And it seems like I have.
It still gets me though how much the trauma that I went through, even as a child, still affects me years later. The fact that I am still dealing with memories from under the age of five that contribute to these symptoms is pretty scary and shocking once you think about it. I’m 38 and still dealing with the repercussions of childhood trauma. I am finding ways to cope though.
The other thing that I want to do is get more into fitness. Currently I’m doing yoga at least three times a week and cardio two or three times, depending on how much time I have. What I want to do is to add in some strength training on top of this. The reason why is that I’ve been doing some squats here and there and notice that, despite the yoga I’m doing, my body is still really stiff when it comes to things like squats and lunges. So I want to incorporate those into my fitness routine plus some light weight lifting. I’m not sure how I’m going to fit this into my schedule. I think that I’ll do strength training on cardio days, after I do cardio.
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