David and I got engaged on Sunday! I waited to post about it on my blog until he told his family, which he did yesterday. The thing is, though, that his mother never got back to him about it (he sent her a text), so I hope that by now she has read the text and won’t hear about it third hand from Facebook or my blog. I suspect, though, that she has. I’m worried that she’s just stone-walling, which is a manipulation tactic where the person doesn’t reply when they are upset, etc. She never has been really in support of our relationship so I guess it’s not surprising that she just isn’t saying anything and is not responding to David.
In terms of the wedding, we are either going to elope or have a small wedding. And in terms of who comes, a lot of that for me depends on how people handle this engagement. If anyone in either family ends up really abusive to either or us, or gossips negatively behind our back, or is “concerned”, that person might not be invited to our wedding, even if it’s a family member. I want supportive people surrounding me at the wedding and no drama. With CAEBV, and the fact that I’ve had active mono for about a year and a half that doesn’t seem to be going away, a wedding of any sort will be hard for me, and I don’t need anything (or anyone) making it more difficult for me or for David, who already is worried about how much he and I can handle.
And with my family, this means that I practically have to have an elopement, because if you invite the whole family (extended + immediate), there is bound to be drama. I’m pretty sure that with my health issues that everyone would understand if we wanted to elope, at least on my side of the family. I don’t know about his.
In terms of my life overall, I’m still really enjoying having reborns and being a part of that community. I’m also proud of myself for sending my work out to publishers. I have two more publishers that I plan on sending this book to on top of the three that I already have sent it to. Wish me luck!
Something is kind of bothering me, though. There have been a few break ins in the last few days in our area. This makes me afraid to leave our house, as I don’t want anything to happen to the cats. Patrick and Lucy, who are domestic violence and ritual abuse survivors, have been through enough. We do have an alarm system and cameras, though, which should hopefully deter a thief, and David has our front door set up to close on it’s own in case it is left open for any reason, in order to keep the cats inside in case of a break in or just negligence on anyone’s part to close the door. Still, the fact that there are local break-ins is definitely making me anxious.
It’s also hard for me to be on social security and not have very much money at all. It seems as though I’m always living right down to the very last dime every month. Yesterday I had to pick up just two of Patrick’s prescriptions, and it cost $125 dollars, and that’s only 1/3 of the amount that we spend on their prescriptions a month. My small SSDI money can be gone quickly if I pick up all of their medications. Luckily, David helps me out with that but still. I told David last night that their prescriptions + cancer treatment basically is the amount of a house payment. And, I remember that when Marmalade went through chemotherapy, it cost even more than my cats because his cancer was more aggressive. Patrick’s chemotherapy pill (which I forgot to say is even more than the rest of the prescriptions, about $400 a month or so), is a fraction of the cost of what Marmalade’s chemotherapy was, and Marmalade had to go into the vet to get it, whereas Patrick’s is at home. I’m still amazed, though, that Patrick is doing as well as he is after a year and a half of living with small cell intestinal lymphoma.
I really hope that I can get some of my books published and earn even a little more than I’m currently earning. I know that with social security that you can earn a little bit on your own without being taken off of it completely, and that’s what I’m hoping for myself. I don’t expect my books to be bestsellers, but it would be nice to earn just enough more so that we could buy a house or something, or that I could buy myself fun things a little more often. For example, I’d love to go shopping for my reborn Logan today, and go out to lunch, but I just don’t have the money to do it.
Anyways, that’s enough rambling for me today. Thanks for reading! Feel free to comment below.