I watched this cartoon last night that depicted Hell as a place where you are forced to watch the worst moment of your life over and over again for eternity. It totally freaked me out because I can imagine what that’s like (I had constant flashbacks and repressed memories for a few years and it was terrible). Because of this, it really scared me. I had nightmares all night, and woke up at 6 am, and then half fell back asleep until 8:30. I usually sleep until 9:30 or 10 because I have mono. I didn’t get enough sleep for me last night.
I hate it that I get triggered so easily. Just a cartoon that’s supposed to be funny can cause a restless night. I guess that it brought up a lot for me. Issues of Heaven and Hell are really huge triggers for me because the ritual abuse that I went through was all Christian related (or AA quasi Christian). I can’t even go to church anymore without suffering bad consequences in terms of my PTSD and Dissociative Symptoms.
My latest book does center around religious abuse and the ramifications of it. It’s woven into a horror/mystery novel. I’m still writing the first draft, and then in a few months, after I revise the books I have so far and illustrate the children’s book, I’ll try to publish it.
Hopefully I can get some more sleep this morning. I have things to do today. I want to go on the treadmill for at least 45 minutes but need to make sure that I’m rested before I do that. Wish me luck.
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