More Discovery of the World and of the Self

I’ve been out of touch when it comes to things in general for awhile. First, when I went to AA, I was so heavily involved that I missed out on what a lot of people experience in life, particularly at my age. Instead of getting married and having children, for example, I ended up in an abusive relationship (and later another two abusive relationships) with men that I met in AA, which I believe was one of the causes of my development of chronic fatigue. And because I have chronic fatigue, I don’t always have the energy to do what other people do, and to just explore the world and everything that is in it. I have a limited amount of time per day when I have the energy to function. So while other people my age were having kids, finding hobbies, working on their careers, etc., I was sick and trying deal with abusive relationships and over-involvement in AA.

Lately, it seems as though I have a bit more energy since I started on Monolaurin, L-Lysine, and some other supplements, as well as went off Seroquel. Granted, I still don’t have a lot, just some. So, I’ve been able to explore new things a little more.

I bought some dolls for my child parts and while looking for doll clothing I discovered Ebay and Etsy. Boy, are there cute things on that site, especially Etsy, which has all kinds of hand-made goods. I’ve bought a few things for my dolls from those sites, but the problem with used doll clothes on ebay I’ve found is that sometimes they don’t fit my dolls. So I’m going to try to buy new from now on so that I can make sure that I know more about what I’m buying and can tailor the purchase to either 15 inch doll clothes or clothes for barbies (my child parts really wanted a few barbies).

I also shop and have shopped AliExpress and Wish, but sometimes the clothes from those sites are pretty cheap. Even though they look cute on the picture, when they come they are flimsy and/or see through. And, it takes forever for them to get there. I’ve also bought shoes off of Wish that didn’t fit at all despite using a size chart.

The good news about all of this is that I’m learning how to evaluate things again and am working on my math skills through budgeting, etc. These are all important things for me to work on in whatever way I can because it helps me to regain memories and skills that I have lost.

I also bought some coloring and activity books for the child parts, which again, even though they are for children they are helping me to regain cognitive functioning. It’s interesting how small I have to start out on certain things even though I’m 37 years old. I guess that over 30 years of trauma really did a number on me.

That’s about all for today. Thanks for reading! Feel free to comment below.

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