When I was a kid, I was really into art, particularly drawing. I would draw all the time: while watching tv after school, for school projects, and just for fun. I took drawing lessons and some drawing classes in high school and was quite good at it. But then, regular schoolwork took over, and soon I forgot all about drawing.
One of the good things about being at the hospital is that I was introduced to arts and crafts as an adult. At first, I didn’t like them too much, and preferred the wellness classes. But then, people started telling me how intricate my coloring in adult coloring books were, and I started to like the arts and crafts classes.
I’ve been using adult coloring books on and off since then, and find them to be more and more relaxing. My mom sent me an adult coloring book that is of Halloween cats, too, which is a lot of fun for me. And, this morning I just bought a learn how to draw book so that I can re-learn that talent. I also am going to buy some acrylic gel pens and decorate pumpkins this year.
I don’t owe all of my finding art though to the hospital. The truth is that I have become open enough to getting to know myself and my parts that I am learning about things that I like that I didn’t necessarily know that I liked, and/or remembering lost talents. It’s nice. I really thought that the purpose of recovering lost memories and skills was to get my memories back from college so that maybe I can work, but now I see that there is joy in re-discovering yourself just for the sake of it.
The depression that I was in for about four years is continuing to lift, which is good. But I am gaining some weight from medications. I’m seeing my Psychiatrist today and will talk to him about that. It’s quite frustrating that this is happening because I’m working so hard at working out and keeping my calories down. I have to look at it though as something that I can’t fully control. I also feel, too, like the fog from my years in AA is lifting, and am starting to feel normal again.
Overall, I’m doing much better these days. I even drove to an appointment in Seattle over the weekend (David drove home). I’m really proud of myself for that.
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