I’m Happy to Spend Time Alone Again

It seems like, ever since going to and leaving AA, that I always have some kind of compulsion to go find some sort of support group or group of people to go and hang out with. It’s this idea, I think, that was shoved onto me, which was that because I’d been diagnosed with Alcohol Use Disorder, that I needed to find some sort of extra support that most people (even those with other health issues) aren’t told that they necessarily need. But, my issue is that I’m rather introverted and don’t always like or feel comfortable in groups.

I’ve found over the last few days that this compulsion, which can be quite uncomfortable, is starting to go away. I’m finding that I feel comfortable being alone these days and do not feel the need to find some sort of group to belong to. I have a few good friends, and see David every day. I’m realizing that it’s okay for me to not try to scope out groups all the time, too, which I usually do but then don’t join, especially spiritual-based groups. I can enjoy being alone, and reading and writing, and don’t need to be part of a group to fulfill my social and emotional needs.

That doesn’t mean that I’m not open to group activities. I’m still planning on trying out some Yoga studios, and going to events in the area. I just am feeling more comfortable today by myself. It’s a really good thing, I think.

I took a nap earlier today and Patrick cuddled around my head. Lucy came up and kneaded on me for a little bit and snuggled too. It was nice. Then, I got up and went to the dentist, which sucked. I did get through it surprisingly well though, even though I have a low threshold for pain.

Outside of that, I’ve been working on a novel today as well as watching some Netflix. It’s a pretty good day overall.

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