I’m very exhausted right now because I’ve been to so many mental health appointments the last few days. On Saturday, I saw my Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner (PNP) as well as my counselor. My PNP recommended that I try a new anti-viral medication for both EBV and HHV6, but I have to get the okay from a medical doctor such as my primary to try it because it’s still in the Experimental phase. I’m seeing an infectious disease doctor tomorrow and hopefully this doctor will be able to get me on this new medication; we’ll see though, because I haven’t met this new ID doctor yet and don’t know how good she is (some doctors act like there is nothing that you can do for these viruses when there is).
My appointment with my therapist was pretty good, but it did bring up a lot of things. He asked me if I’m open about talking about my system, and I told him that because most of the therapists that I’ve had have treated me like I am a single person, that I’m not used to talking about it. He also asked how my parts feel about taking medications. I told him that because too high of psychiatric medications caused me to have kidney disease, that I am pretty hesitant (and so are my parts) about taking medication, especially anti-epileptics (mood stabilizers), which have caused the worst side effects for me in terms of my physical health, outside of weight gain. Some of my parts don’t want to be on psychiatric medication at all, actually, because of the side effects and the effects that they’ve had on me. After the appointment I destabilized a bit because it was so much to address my system directly, but was able to be okay within a couple of hours.
I saw my Psychiatrist, who works with my PNP, today too. I am going down on Seroquel tonight and eventually will go off of it, which I’m glad about, and will stay on Vraylar. My new psychiatrist, though, wants to know if I want to see him or my PNP going forward. I told him that I’m not sure because each one has strengths in different areas. He told me that we will discuss this more at our next appointment and I am not looking forward to making that decision, but I’ll probably go with my PNP even though he is very good with medications. I’ll probably see both for awhile.
After seeing my Psychiatrist I took a computerized test to assess how severe my ADHD actually it. To me, it was brutal. I had to sit at a computer looking straight ahead for 20 minutes and click a button when the same shape showed up twice in a row. I almost couldn’t handle it and even panicked for awhile. I did get through it but now I’m totally exhausted. I’m still going to exercise though because usually that gives me energy. I’m going on the elliptical today.
And, tomorrow I have another appointment, and more at the end of the week. I think that I am actually going to change some of my later appointments around so that I have time to rest.
I know that eventually my appointments will slow down once I am more stabilized, but for now I’m really overwhelmed. Hopefully I can get through all these appointments this week without falling apart emotionally or physically.
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