I started to notice that my dissociative symptoms are lessening and decided to look into why this could be. My doctors did tell me that Seroquel can lessen dissociation, so I’m betting that Abilify, which is also an antipsychotic, does as well. I did some research on Abilify and found that it is one of the antipsychotics that is sometimes used to help treat dissociative disorders. This makes perfect sense to me because since I’ve started taking it, it seems like my dissociative symptoms are lessening and becoming more manageable ever day, including my least favorite symptom: derealization, which is when the world doesn’t feel real around you. To me, derealization can be terrifying, so I’m really glad that these medications are helping me with it. And, I can even tell when I dissociate these days whereas before this I couldn’t always even differentiate between when I was dissociating and not; this likely means that I was dissociating all of the time. When I dissociate too often or too much, too, I tend to have a bunch of parts vying for control in order to “help me”, but most of the time this just results in confusion. This is why it’s so important for me to find ways to address my dissociative symptoms.
Now that I’m dissociating less I have more control and can actually hear myself think a little more. It’s nice. It also lessens my anxiety quite a bit. I feel safer because I don’t have “X” many parts all chirping away in my head about how I should do this or that. I’m trusting myself more, too, and other people. Hopefully I will continue to improve when I get home as well.
My chronic pain, however, has still been high, but seems to be lessening as well. This is great to me, but I still am getting dizziness and vertigo as a result of the chronic pain and medication changes. I’m also not taking CBD oil here, so that does explain some of the reason why my chronic pain is higher at the hospital. It also likely is due to over-exertion and the fact that the chairs and beds are really uncomfortable here.
I’m still working on finding a naturopath or doctor in the area who can help me with my health issues, particularly CAEBV. I was referred to a naturopath in Seattle by a naturopathic clinic that I’ve gone to before and also to one in Woodinville by another Naturopath that I contacted. But, they are not covered by my insurance so I am going to have to find a mainstream doctor to run the tests that I want (black mold, Lyme, etc). If I can’t find this, I am going to go to Bastyr College in Seattle and see supervised students. It’s much more affordable than an out of pocket private naturopath. And, I have an Aunt who has CAEBV who had a lot of luck at Bastyr and now is in remission from CAEBV. The fact that she is in remission gives me a lot of hope for myself. My goal is to be in remission as well, and because CAEBV is genetic it could actually happen.
I saw a hospitalist yesterday who took me off the Thrush medication and is doing some tests to see what could be going on with me. It was really interesting to see him, though, because he told me that he has never seen a patient in this hospital with “chronic mono”. This tells me how rare CAEBV really is.
The doctors and social worker here are beginning to put together a discharge plan for me. They wanted to set me up with a case manager, which is fine with me, but then found out that my insurance won’t cover it. The social workers also wanted to set me up with free transportation (Hopelink) because I’m disabled, but again, my insurance won’t cover it. I am on a form of Medicaid but apparently the plan that I have does not cover these things. It’s pretty frustrating. At least the doctors and social workers, though, are setting up an outpatient plan for me that is within my capabilities. I’m happy about this.
I am really looking forward to going home, seeing my cats, and spending more time with David. I also am looking ahead at fun things that I can do for the rest of the summer since I’ve missed about a month of summer now while being in here. Luckily there are still plenty of festivals, fairs, berry picking, etc., that are still going on in the area. I’m pretty excited about the rest of the summer (after I get home).
I’m excited for today, though, because a therapy dog is coming to see us. Last week we saw a dog who was absolutely adorable. Each patient got to pet him (if they wanted to), and then we did a game with him where he did some tricks. It was very cute, and it brought a genuine smile to my face.
Thanks for reading! I’ll continue to post updates about my progress. Feel free to comment below.