Ever since I found out that a couple of medications I’ve recently been put on are affecting my electrolytes and kidneys, I’ve been reducing my water intake and eating more sodium and potassium rich foods (and drinks) since Saturday, and have been going down and off of Depakote and Topomax (the medications in question). I had a blood draw down this morning and my sodium and potassium is back in the normal range as are my kidney values! Now it’s just time to face Depakote Withdrawals.
Also, I have started taking Hydroxosine for anxiety, and it really seems to be helping. It is also an antihistamine and after taking it for a couple of weeks, I’m finding that my sinuses and eustachian tubes feel clearer than they have in years. I’m also having less vertigo, which I struggle with due to issues with my inner ears/eustachian tubes. This is actually helping my mental health because for me, vertigo can cause panic attacks. It is also one of the reasons why I don’t like to drive. I’ve noticed it on and off throughout my life but I think that it really started when I lived in apartments with carpeting and black mold (I am going to find a way to get tested for mold exposure).
Still, I’m nervous about Depakote withdrawals, as I came off of it pretty fast. I’ll just have to hope for the best and have some faith that I can get through this without any serious medical complications.
In terms of getting help for my trauma history, I found some counselors in Washington State who are experts in treating Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). One has already agreed to meet with me and he is well-versed in integration (none of my previous counselors were). What I noticed about these counselors is that they all seem to approach treatment in different ways. Hopefully I can meet with a few of them and decide how I want to move forward when it comes to treating DID and CPTSD as well as addressing the severe trauma that I experienced (yes, I’m still aware of my trauma even though doctors here think that it just couldn’t have happened because I don’t fit some type of “mold”).
In addition, David and I might go to family counseling, but truth be told, if we are driving 45 minutes to and from a counseling appointment for me once a week, that may be all that I can handle in the counseling department. I do plan, though, to try to start playing the ukulele again and singing, even though my voice is really raspy due to my current thyroid issues.
I am also frustrated by the fact that none of the doctors that I go to seem to be able to agree on the diagnoses that I have. I feel like I’ve been diagnosed by a psychiatrist, psychiatric nurse, or doctor with pretty much every mental illness i the book. And, when I flip back and forth on which conditions that I have due to doctors convincing me of what they think, people think really weird things about me. Just know, if you’re reading this, that I get confused about my diagnoses too. The one that I’m most sure of, though, is DID, simply because I hear and feel my other identities, and know when I’m in one, even if I don’t know his/her/it’s name, and they do show themselves to David, so he knows that I have multiple identities too. As for the rest of the diagnoses? I think that my doctors are still arguing over them. But, this is very common for people who have DID or another dissociative disorder.
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