I’m Trying Hard Not To Slip Back Into Denial As This Doctor Tells Me That Bipolar Disorder Is My Primary Problem (It’s Not, And Telling Me This Makes Me Fight Slipping Back Into Denial Of My Trauma)

Every time I go to the hospital for mental health, zealous hospital doctors tell me that bipolar disorder is my main problem. Then I slip back into denial some, and I go home and a private therapist has to help me to work my way back out of the denial that these doctors pushed me into by overemphasizing the role that bipolar disorder plays in my life versus PTSD and basically by treating me like I’m completely delusional when it comes to everything, especially my trauma, which can take months. I am still traumatized, for example, from doctors doing this at my last two hospital visits. It’s no wonder I keep slipping in and out of denial and am in and out of psychiatric units every six months. And then of course the staff always blame the situation on me and my private doctors rather than the fact that they can’t admit their bias against patients with certain diagnoses and the fact that they can’t admit that they might not be right all of the time. Sounds kind of like my narcissistic pharmacist Dad who is convinced that bipolar disorder is my problem as well despite all evidence to the contrary, including the fact that it is my PTSD and Dissociative Symptoms that led me to be awarded Social Security. But, even medical professionals and family members can’t see beyond their own biases and fears. Anyways. I’m actually quite pissed right now but don’t want to tell the staff or show it because I don’t want to get into trouble for voicing dissent or showing anger. Because that’s seen as a bad thing here.

3 thoughts on “I’m Trying Hard Not To Slip Back Into Denial As This Doctor Tells Me That Bipolar Disorder Is My Primary Problem (It’s Not, And Telling Me This Makes Me Fight Slipping Back Into Denial Of My Trauma)

  1. I don’t understand. Why can’t you have Bipolar & PSTD? I do. They’re not mutually exclusive.

    Listen. Even if you don’t agree with your doctors, you’re going to get a whole lot further with them & your treatment if you agree with them instead of fighting with them. WORK WITH THEM. The more you fight them, the more they’re going to dismiss ANYTHING you have to say. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about here. I’m a little bit older than you & I’ve been down this road before. More than once.

    You need an ally in this battle & you’re not going to find one if you continually fight. You have to be diplomatic about these things. & you have to manipulate the system to work for YOU. You have the smarts to do this. Anyone with a MA in Psychology is certainly smart enough to do this.

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    1. The issue is that they are telling me that the bipolar diagnosis is affecting me more than DID when it is not, and they are denying how much DID is affecting me. For me that is a reallly big deal. And I’m not actually fighting with them at all. I’m really diplomatic, but the issue is that not all medical professionals believe in the existenece of DID let alone how much it affects people. I feel like in this hospital especially that I am hitting my head against a brick wall when it comes to getting help with my DID symptoms. This all basically come down to stigma in our society surrounding DID and other dissociative disorders.

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      1. In fact, I’m probably being too agreeable when I’m talking to them and not expressing my feelings enough. I’m afraid that if I say how I feel that they will deem me as non-compliant and that this will only result in more mis-diagnoses. It is really hard to have dissociative disorders and to always have to be afraid of this kind of stuff. A staff member though is encouraging me to bring up my concerns to the doctor but I’m not sure because every time I do, even though I do it nicely, things go badly and I get re-traumatized.

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