Yesterday I drove about half an hour into see a new Naturopath. It was a stressful drive because my GPS on my phone was not working. I looked over the directions on my computer there before I left, though, and made it there in time.
Despite it being stressful to drive that far by myself, I am glad that I saw this Naturopath. We did an hour and a half long intake, and she asked a lot of questions about what tests had been done so far. When I told her how little has actually been done for me, even though I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s over 15 years ago and chronic fatigue 10 years ago, she was absolutely shocked. I told her that I’ve requested many of the tests that she wants to do, such as testing for Lyme, mold exposure, etc., but that no doctor had actually done them. She was also shocked that I had a re-activation of EBV (mono) when I was 23, so in 2005, and that doctors did not address this until this past January. I don’t know if this type of medical negligence is common, or if in my case I just was not empowered enough until recently to really push to have these tests done. Either way, they should have been. I feel like it is not fair to patients to have to push doctors to get tests done that are common tests when assessing a diagnosis.
But now I have to drive a town away to get this blood work done, and today I definitely do not have the energy to do it, nor do I have the energy to do things like exercise. After my appointment, I went out to lunch with David. Lucy had been dropped off at the vet yesterday morning to get some tests done, and originally I was going to pick him up after lunch. But, it turns out that his ultrasound shows that he has inflammation in both his liver and his lymph nodes. So, he had to stay at the vet for longer than was expected in order to biopsy these areas. We will find out the results of the biopsy sometime today. The concern is that his cancer may have returned.
I visited him at the vet and drove home after lunch, and David brought home Lucy later in the evening. I was stuck in about an hour of traffic on the way home. It was a really exhausting day for me, and I am feeling it today. I am also worried about what is going on with Lucy.
Based off my fatigue levels right now, I’m not sure what the rest of my week is going to look like. I may have to wait to get my blood drawn until Saturday when David can take me in. It is surprising to me these days how easily I wear out. The truth is, though, that before I started integration in 2013 (and while I was still going to AA) that I wouldn’t have even attempted a day like that because it would have set me back so much in terms of my physical symptoms. Today, though, I understand that sometimes I have to do these things anyways even if it sets me back for some time. When I went to AA, though, I was so afraid to miss meetings that I missed out on all kinds of things that I feared would cause fatigue and lead me to miss the meetings that I thought that I absolutely needed. I wonder if this is part of the reason why I never found the right specialists for my health concerns, as I was afraid to drive out of town to find them.
It’s always interesting for me to explore how much AA limited my life and contributed to worsening and undiagnosed health issues. And, when I think about it, all of the trauma that I’ve been through has impacted this. I’m glad today to be out of abusive and traumatic situations.
I’ll put up an update later today or tomorrow about Lucy.
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